Join business coach Tina Tower as she explore's how to build your empire by packaging your expertise into online courses, speaking, content, podcasting and credibility.

Tina has over 14 years of experience in starting, building and selling companies, she's a speaker, teacher, mumma and traveller. She's unapologetic about living an intentionally big life and if you want too, this show is designed to show you many different options to help you gain clarity over YOUR version of awesome.

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We all evolve and grow as we step into our purpose and power and today's guest on Her Empire Builder Podcast is such a beautiful example of that! Dr Ali Young was one of my first members to ever join my Her Empire Builder Membership and so I've had such a lucky front row seat as she's stepped into her light.

Now, we're celebrating the release of her new book 'Work. Mama. Life'! You can pre-order your copy now!

In this episode Ali shares how she's gone from running a successful Chiropractic clinic to a thriving online membership working mamas and a course to help avoid burnout as well as write what I'm sure will be a best selling book - and still look after herself and family as her top priority.

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We have some incredible things happening at Her Empire Builder this year! If you are a course creator, you have to be a part of this incredible community. Jump on to herempirebuilder.com and we can chat!

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Show Transcription: 

Tina: Hi, friend, welcome to episode 163. I love it when anyone achieves something awesome. When we as entrepreneurs have a dream, an idea and then see it in reality in the world, it is one of the best feelings and it's something that I think we should all celebrate for each other. So, it's something I get excited about all the time whenever I see it on social media anywhere, or in real live, hearing of people going after their dreams. Like, that's always the thing that makes me cry and I especially love it when it is my own members and clients. Today, I have the smartest, funkiest, coolest woman, Dr. Ali Young, joining us who has been a part of my Her Empire Builder program since it very first started. She was a client of mine before Her Empire Builder was even invented so was one of the very first people to jump in. So, I've always got a special place in my heart for those people and I just love seeing her go from strength to strength.

 What we are talking about today is how she has built her personal brand; how she has gone from the evolution of being a chiropractor and running a really successful chiropractic clinic, to now being a thought leader in the space and what we're celebrating today, a newly published author. So she has her book out, which is called Work.Mama.Life., and if anyone has ever put a book out before you know what a moment it is. Next month we are doing a whole four weeks of episodes about book writing, because I know so many of you want to write a book. So, I'm sharing my book marketing and how I wrote it and self publishing verse publishing, all of that sort of thing. So that's coming up for you on the Her Empire Builder podcast but today, I have Dr. Ali and Dr. Ali is a chiropractor who's on a mission. She’s looking to bring back health and heart to motherhood. So everything works in conjunction with one another. In today's chat, we're really going through how you can get over burnout as a working mum, how you can have your own dreams and go for them unapologetically, and how you can take care of yourself amidst everything else that's going on. So we're talking about that for you personally, but also sharing Ali's journey on how she has morphed as a business owner herself and as a working mum, and now how she's become this author with this incredible online program, which is Work Mama Lounge and then she has the Working Mama Reset, which is her course designed for mums that are getting that burnout stage and to avoid that.

 So, Ali is one of my beautiful Her Empire Builder members. We do have the doors to Her Empire Builder opening in a couple of weeks on 5th April. So, if you are listening to Ali and you're going, oh my gosh I want some of this, go to www.herempirebuilder.com. You can join the waitlist there. I will be opening the waitlist 72 hours before it opens to the public and there will, of course, be some awesome bonuses for people that jump in early on the waitlist, but let's get into all the value. Here it is with Dr. Ali Young.

 Hi friend. I'm Tina Tower, Business Strategist and digital online empire builder. I've been in business since I was 20 years old and have since built and sold four businesses. I started in the world of online courses in 2017 and grew to a seven figure annual turnover in just under two years. To say I love the game of business is an understatement. I'm a world traveller, a mama, a wife, a best selling author and I love the freedom that we have to create the business and life that we want to live. It takes courage to break the rules and shake things up and do it your way. Through Her Empire Builder I share my experience and bring you lessons from some of the world's best to help you dream big, plan well and take massive action. It is absolutely possible to run a thriving, growing business that positively impacts the world, and have a beautiful personal life without hustling and working yourself into exhaustion. I want that for you. Let's enjoy the journey my friend.

 Gorgeous Ali and author of Work.Life.Mama., oh, [laughs], Work.Mama.Life.

Ali: [Laughs] Hey.

Tina: She knows we'll get the title right, right? Welcome. Welcome to Her Empire Builder podcast. 

Ali:  Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm super pumped to be here today.

Tina: Yay.

Ali: It is very exciting.

Tina: I want to ask you about so many things because you have your new book coming out next week.

Ali: Woop, woop.

Tina: Which is available for pre-order now, which is in fact called Work.Mama.Life. Yeah?

Ali: Yes it is.

Tina: And you've been this extraordinaire in your traditional career, then moved into online business. So I want to ask you all about that, but then I also want to ask you about the subject of your book, which is how to balance being an awesome mum and holding your own identity and also running a thriving business on the side. So there's a lot to cover.

Ali: Okay, let's do it.

Tina: Let's do it. Okay, so the first thing that I want to ask you is about the book. What got you to the stage, because it is like a massive mental challenge writing a book.

Ali: Yes.

Tina: It's a big chunk of time out of your life, what drove you to want to write it?

Ali: I've always loved writing stories. When I was a kid, my mum was like, you should be an author, this is great, and I just have loved writing forever, and if anyone asked me to write something for a chiro magazine, or something like that, I'd be like, yeah, yeah, I’ll do that. No problem at all. Then I did a master's dissertation, which was, I don't know, 50,000 words or something when I did my master's degree back in 2010, 2011, kind of burnt me out of writing for a little while. Then I made that shift into the online space and I felt like I was saying a lot of the same things all the time and I really saw things emerge. So that's where the idea of the book came from, that if I could get all this down, and people could just access it so much easier, it's going to change way more lives and have much more impact in those mum’s lives, in their family's lives. I think that's where it all came from.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: So when I first met you, which I was trying to think before we hit record of when that was, but I think it was.

Ali: It was when you did your profit.

Tina: Yeah, yeah. Which I did in, I think 2019. I travelled around the country running profit plan workshops, and I met you in Gladstone there.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: You were running this super awesome chiropractic clinic but you hadn't gone on to that next thing yet.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: What was the crossroads in going, you know what, I don't know if I want to be a chiropractor forever. I want to have something else in my life, because your life was full already.

Ali: [Giggles]

Tina: I know a lot of people that are listening are going, you know, I have this dream, or I have this thing that I want to do but how on earth am I going to fit that in and is it going to be worth it? Should I follow that dream, should I not? What ignited in you and why did you start like looking?

Ali: Yeah, I think that, I've been in practice for 20 years, or well by then, 17 or 18 years, and I love the one-on-one connection with people but I really felt that there was more of me to give, if that makes sense.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: So I wanted to find a way to communicate with people everywhere, and I think because I've lived overseas, I've lived in Perth, I've had babies away from family and I've experienced all that, I just really wanted to, to give mums hope and support everywhere that they went.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: I was getting a lot of people coming in really hating their journeys. Like they were unhealthy, they were burnout, they were saying that everything was f**ked and that's where it came from, basically.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: So it started. Yeah.

Tina: I love that, and it’s so needed.

Ali: Yeah, absolutely.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: It's interesting, the more I talk to people about it, they're like, oh, yeah, that's great.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: Like, if I had someone that could help me simply, easily, make it easier for myself and feel connected back to me again, because losing yourself is nearly part of the journey, right? Because you come out the other side, you go through the trimesters, and then you're like, oh okay, so this is my new self but you don't know what that new self looks like in the world you've been existing in and then this world you've been existing in plus kids, and so how do you navigate that and how do you do that in a healthy way? What does being healthy look like now you're a mum compared to before you had kids? Because I don't look anything like I did in my mid-20s now.

Tina: [Laughs]

Ali: But I still feel.

Tina: I don’t that is just to do with the kids. [Laughs]

Ali: No, probably not. [Laughs}

 When I had my first job I seriously, my boss was like, you must wear a shirt every day, tie your hair back and wear glasses, even if you don't need them.

Tina: What?

Ali: Because I was 23, yeah, and I looked like I was 18.

Tina: Oh my gosh. You still look like you're 18. [Laughs]

Ali: Why thank you. But yeah, but what does health look like when you're a mum too?

Tina: Hmm.

Ali: Because that's really different. Like you don't have days to go to the gym twice a day. You know, meal prepping’s a really good idea but sometimes that just doesn't happen so how can you make that actually work?

Tina: Yeah. So I want to ask you, I mean, I want to ask you a thousand things from what you just said, but I want to stay on the losing identity part of a mum, because I know, you know, I've heard you talk about that a lot. I know a lot of my mum friends have talked about that.

Ali: Hmm.

Tina: Like, why does that? Why does that happen? Do you think there's a misconception? Because I was talking to a girlfriend the other day, who's actually had kids later, and I don't know if that has a lot to do with it. I had kids when I was 24.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: And she.

Ali: So you were still probably establishing yourself.

Tina: Yeah, and I was going through this whole thing and going like, what do you mean, like, who am I with being this mum? And I'm like, of course your life was gonna change that. What did you think?

Ali: [Laughs]

Tina: That you would still be having the beautiful white couch and going to a restaurant on the weekend? Like no, that's gone.

Ali: Not gonna happen.

Tina: Yeah, but is that what you see happening, is that a lot of women are wanting, like wanting to maintain the same life and trying to find how kids fit into it without realising that without embracing, you know what?

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: Who I was before is now no longer?

Ali: Yeah, because we can have those elements of who I was before but I think bigger than that is that your values change.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: So you go from having a value system which is really self focussed and then when you have kids, that value system could easily shift and change. It doesn't for everyone, but it's going to involve a family unit, and looking after them might be more of a priority than looking after yourself, and who are you within that? So I think it's about, you know, that newborn phase is always going to be much different.

Tina: My gosh it’s so hard.

Ali: Oh I remember that, but where you come out of that, like, when your kids hit school age, when they're a little bit independent, who am I now?

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: Like, what do I want to do?

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: And what you want to do will probably change because the values of what you want in your life have probably altered as well.

Tina: Oh, completely.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: I think it's why we see so many women going into self employment, as well. I know, you know, predominantly, you're working with mums who are doing that juggle between mama life in between their work life, whether that's self employment, or holding down a job.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: It's very, very different and I think, you know, it's, it's one of the things that is good to choose, because you get a lot of freedom and flexibility but also owning your own business is no walk in the park.

Ali: [Laughs]

Tina: So, how have you navigated not only mama life and work life, but you have a traditional business, which is hugely successful on its own.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: You’ve got now this book coming out, you've got an online business, and you've got the family, like, how do you actually do your day-to-day to handle all of that, because I've seen, I mean, I've worked with you for the last two years now.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: You are always as cool as a cucumber.

Ali: [Laughs]

Tina: Even when you're not as cool as a cucumber, you still look cool while you're flipping out. Like you're always like, you know? How how do you manage that balance?

Ali: Yeah, well, I think, I try to figure out what's most important to me every week, and I've definitely cut back on the in-practice stuff. So I realised after about a year of trying to do the juggle, that was really hard. I couldn't do full time practice and also do online stuff at night time. Like my energy wasn't there and I know that we all have a finite amount of energy and you talk about this.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: So for me, I really had to sit down and go, so what is really important to me? What am I going to be able to do? Where do I want to do that? So I cut my hours back in practice. Well, before I did that COVID happened. So my hours were cut back anyway.

Tina: Yup

Ali: Because we had to change how we practised, and with the kids not being in school, I cut a day out and I just never put that back in.

Tina: Hmm.

Ali: Then I hired an associate to come in, which took me a year to find.

Tina: Amazing.

Ali: Yeah, and I'm so thankful that she's here now. So she does five days a week; one full day, four half days. I do one full day, two half days.

Tina: A beautiful balance.

Ali: I know, and then once a month, the Saturday morning just to, you know, do the Saturday morning. Yeah, so it works well that way. But then, I was finding last year after I'd done that shift, the two days that I'm not in practice, I was spending in front of a computer.

Tina: Hmm.

Ali: So I reflected on that and I was like, why am I not feeling relaxed? Or why am I feeling up all the time in that manic, sympathetic, dominant go, go, go mode? My sleep was rubbish, I gained weight, you know, all the things.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: I realised that I wasn't actually honouring the side of me that needs movement and fun and joy. So now I've purposefully put that back in and the connection time with people is really important. So we're making a priority this year to go and see the people that we haven't been able to see for 2, 3, 4 years that really matter to us too, because that connection is just so important as well. Yeah.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: But this, it happens,

Tina: How did you work it when, because I know a lot of women that are listening want, they hear you and go, you know what, I love what Ali does. I love that she backed herself and went for that, but I know a lot of women struggle when they want to make the transition online or they want to double down on their online. They've got either their job salary coming in, whether that's employed or whether it's a traditional bricks and mortar business and that's your bread and butter. That’s what's paying the bills, and then you want to start this online business, and you've got to, you know, the grass is greener, where you water it. You’ve got to look after it to build it up but it's really hard when it's not going to pay you anything at the beginning.


Ali: Yeah.


Tina: How did you navigate that to go, you know what, I could go work in the chiropractic clinic, and I know I would earn a really great hourly rate. How did you prioritise working over here, when it wasn't going to give you anything in the short term?

Ali: That made my soul happy.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: For me, that was more than the money. Like, and I think I'm in a very white, female, privileged position that I've worked hard for 20 years, and so I can make a choice to take a little bit less income now, because I know in the long run, well, hopefully, you know, that's going to be okay for me.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: I can always go back to practice more, too.

Tina: Hmm.

Ali: I think that's the thing is that I'm very lucky that I could go, you know what, this isn't working so well. I'll just open another day in my office.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: Then that would fill up really quickly, and, you know.

Tina: And I love that, that in your mind. Nothing is ever permanent.

Ali: No, not at all.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: Yeah, and I'm definitely, I mean, I look at personalities, some really good mentors of mine talk about, and I'm sure it's not a new thing - the wolf, the dolphin, the Labrador and the ant. So the wolf is like the alpha personality; that’s not me. The Labrador is the people pleaser and there's definitely a side of me that likes that and that's why I think I connect well with people. The dolphin likes the sparkly, shiny things and that is 100% my personality, and the ant is like the, ticks all the lists and does everything.

Tina: I feel like I resonate with every one of those animals. [Laughs]

Ali: I feel that too actually. [Laughs]

Tina: Can I be a part of all of them? [Laughs]

Ali: But I'm 100% a dolphin, so I love a shiny, sparkly thing, and so the online world initially was really shiny, sparkly, but then I realised it's actually filled my cup. So that's where it's been a really good, yeah, shift.

Tina: Yeah

Ali: For me as well, yeah.

Tina: How have you dealt with the kind of journey of personal branding in going, you know, I know your identity, even your Instagram handle was all about being a chiro.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: How have you gone from that to the Dr. Ali Young that we know and love now?

Ali: [Laughs]

Tina: Author of Work.Mama.Life.

Ali: What??

Tina: Which is about to be the best selling book for working mums across the country. [Laughs]

Ali: Woo-hoo [Laughs]

Tina: How have you negotiated that and has it been, was it an instant thing? Was it a smooth thing? Like, what's your advice to other women that are that are going through that change of identity?

Ali: Yeah, I think I had to get really clear on what mattered most to me, and chiropractic is part of my identity, but the gift of what chiropractic has given me with my philosophy and my concepts that our health comes from the inside out, and we as an individual can really matter, that’s, that's been a big part of it, but I actually started and I'm gonna say it on here, you'll have to make it explicit.

Tina: [Laughs]

Ali: I started out with “Unf**k Motherhood” as my handle.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: Because I wanted to shock people into thinking, why is motherhood f**ked? Why is this bad? Because I really wanted them to stop and have a think about it.

Tina: Hmm.

Ali: And with the book coming out, I have changed that because I feel like now I'm at a stage, personal branding wise, where I can get rid of that shock value per se and actually really double down and focus on the information that I can give people as well, and that's been, it’s been a fun journey.

Tina: Yeah, and what has it been like being out of a city because I know that a lot of people when they go, like my favourite thing for online business is its accessibility in going.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: It actually doesn't matter where you are in the world you can be just as successful as the person in the main city, but I still know that people in rural feel like gosh, can I be part of this? Can I do this?

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: Like, you are right at the top of Australia up there.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: Have you noticed any difference or have you had to do a mindset shift or anything with that?

Ali: Yeah, I feel like because I grew up in the country but then went to uni in Melbourne and then lived in Perth for 12 years, I was really used to being in a bigger city, and having the one-on-one personal connection. I'm definitely a connector. Like, I love meeting new people and being like, oh, you'd love this person, and you'd love that person, so I do get a bit of FOMO. Like, I really want to go to events in cities, because I feel like it would be nice for my brand for people to actually get to know me away from what I put on Insta and all that kind of stuff

Tina: Hmm.

Ali: But it's still working. Like, it’s still, and I think the Pandemic has gifted Zoom in a whole different way.

Tina: Hasn’t it!

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: It’s been the greatest thing ever, for all of us in online business. We’re just like, oh my gosh, so lucky.

Ali: Yeah. So um, yeah, look, I'd love to be in a more populous region.

Tina: Hmm.

Ali: Sort of, but I also really like living in my slow, sleepy town. It's pretty good.

Tina: Yeah. Okay. So now I want to kind of pivot into the book content a little bit.

Ali: Yep. Okay.

Tina: In going, because still so many, like the majority of women are juggling work and motherhood.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: In that how, I hear so much. I mean, I hear so much with just women in general, getting adrenal fatigue, anxiety, all sorts of different things, whether you have kids or not, but I think throwing in the responsibility of kids into that mix, often people are torn in a million different directions. Is balancing that and having fun and joy in your life, like, is that possible for the majority of women?

Ali: I think it really is, but you just have to, it's all about choices, right

Tina: Hmm.

Ali: In saying that, there's definitely times where my balance has been very skewed one way and not the other way and that's, I think, part of the journey of figuring out what works for you, but in the book, I've broken it into three sections. So the first section is work and it's about you as a woman, you as a mother, you as a working human, how society has driven us that we should work as if we don't have kids, and we should parent as if we don't work and how that's not working for any of us. So it works through what intergenerational patterning are you bringing to your motherhood journey? What stories have you told yourself? How can we shift out of that? What elements of that society structure are you ready to say F-U to, and what that might actually look like.

 Then it goes into the mama, the human side, and we go into the deep dive at the five pillars of motherhood health. So the five elements that if we can get, no one ever has them all balanced, hot tip.

Tina: [Laughs]

Ali: But recognition around them is really, really important. So I have labelled them nourishment, movement, thinking and calm sleep as a standalone one, which I think a lot of us don't get at all well, and connection. If we can get those five things really balanced in our world, then from there, we can go into how that looks like in our life and that's the last section. So how can we take what we've learned in this first two sections, and actually make it workable. In the book, within every section, I've got pause moments, so people can actually do a bit and I give them a little questions to help them stop and think and just go, yeah, okay, I'm gonna pause and have a moment on this one, what is really important to me? So yeah.

Tina: I loved in the book, when you talk, like it weaves in through a lot of different parts, is the focus on joy, and actually enjoying the life that we've been gifted. I know that, you know, from from working with so many women that, and myself personally as well, there are different times when everything feels so heavy.

Ali: Uh-huh.

Tina: And we go, how are we going to get through this? Is this going to be okay?

Ali: Yep,

Tina: What is your hot tip for when you are in that situation where it feels heavy?

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: Anxiety is coming down, and you're like, you know what, I know this is bad for my nervous system.

Ali: [Laughs]

Tina: I remember going to Gwinganna once, the health retreat, and they did a talk. I did like the stress week because I was feeling stressed, and I went to stress week on how to alleviate stress and I still remember they said, like their opening was, stress is making you fat. [Laughs]

Ali: [Laughs]

Tina: I was like, what? And then they showed all the neurological themes.

Ali: And you were shocked.

Tina: Yeah, that it does it.

Ali: I know.

Tina: Then I'm like, okay, so no stress then, all right. Okay, I can do that, and then I was stressed about being stressed.

Ali: Yeah, awesome. [Laughs]

Tina: So what is, what is the quick thing, like, when you feel yourself spiralling and I know you're drawing on this from your medical background, and also your personal background and everything in there, like you're just the perfect person to be talking about this? What is a quick fix that you can do to go, you know, pattern interrupt, let's shift?

Ali: So for me, I love music, and I have a sordid history in dancing. So my quickest state change is find a song that triggers a joyful moment memory, put it on really loud and move my body.

Tina: Hmm.

Ali: Because then I'm getting the movement of my spine which stimulates the part of my brain which allows my system to think I’m safe. If I'm moving I’m safe. It gets rid of the shouty amygdala. So there's this little part of your brain which fits in your limbic system, which is your stress system. If we can get that shouty guy in the backseat to shut up, it makes our body think we're not as stressed anymore. At recreating a joyful moment actually makes your brain go, ah, this is okay. So just like if you've had a super stress event, and then something even minutely similar happens, your brain remembers that and goes, oh, when that event happens, I go to this level of stress, and this is how my body responds to that.

Tina: Hmm.

Ali: But it also does the same thing with joy. So if you have something that's super joyful for you, then it will go, ah, this is how my body's joyful like that, and it will release that too. Yeah. So there's a lot.

Tina: You know, I've been told so many times that, like, your body trains its way and its response to stress and that's why you can get into that stress response really hardcore, really quick, but I've never heard anyone say it does the same thing with joy, which of course it does.

Ali: Yeah, and the cool thing with joy, is it you've actually got like a joy bucket that you can exercise it and it gets bigger, so you're more able to be more receptive to joy. So you can actually go out there and teach yourself to be more and more joyful.

Tina: I love that!

Ali: Yeah I know, me too.

Tina: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ali: It’s just so amazing. That is the definitely the quickest. So it might not be music for you. It's probably Delta for you, let’s be honest.

Tina: OMG, I love Delta. I love Delta.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: But you know, I think there's a lot of truth to that. So a lot of people will say to me, you know, why are you always so happy and smiley and all joyful? And I actually think it was trained in me from running a retail store for four years. So whenever.

Ali: Of course.

Tina: Yeah, so whenever people would walk in, I would smile and say, hi, welcome to Reach, what can I help you with and show them around, and no matter what mood I was in, or what, Mat used to always laugh at me, because I'd be like talking to him in a super serious face into it, and someone will walk in and I just be, hi!

Ali: [Laughs]

Tina: [Laughs] and he’d be like, f**k, she can change that really quickly.

Ali: [Laughs]

Tina: But because I could go on so quickly, it’s almost like, like, like now, there's nothing on, there's nothing put on about it, it’s a natural flip.

Ali: Well I did that with work. Like in practice, if I ever went into the office, and I was not feeling joyful at all, and I was like, I don't want to be here, literally, two patients in of doing something that I was really good at, connected with people and focussed intentionally on them.

Tina: Mmm.

Ali: I was like, oh, why did I ever not want to be here today?

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: Like, and it's exactly the same. Yeah, and having an intentional focus on supporting other people, but in a way that, you know, is really important, I think and sits within my value systems. I think that's part of that, too.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: So with your joy finding, yeah, you can find it like, where does it fit in? We talked about this in the reset program. I just did a thing on it on Monday night. So these are your values and the reason we need to figure them out now is so we can figure out how when you're in your nourishment realm, why is that important? Where does that fit in your value system? How can we make it an easy thing rather than I should do this  because I should - we get rid of the shoulds. It's about I'm going to do this because it matters to me because of this.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: I think that's the simplicity of it.

Tina: I'd love to hear your take on mama guilt because I know a lot of women that I work with that have serious dreams.

Ali: Hmm.

Tina: They have big dreams. They want to back themselves to go for that and I know, not so much now that my boys are teenagers, but when they were little, I would get asked by mums all the time in meaning no, like, dig or disrespect, but mums would come up to me like on the quiet at different things and go, how do you feel like you're okay to do that? Like, how are you alright doing that? And even, you know, I'm about to go away for a month. I'm leaving my family for a month. I can't count on two hands how many women, there's more than that, have said to me, oh my god, how do you get to go away for that amount?

Ali: How can you do that?

Tina Yeah.

Ali: Yep.

Tina: How can you in your own heart and soul like abandon your family? I'm like, okay, one, I’m not abandoning them. They're totally fine.

Ali: They’re totally okay.

Tina: They’re totally okay and they've had me through the Pandemic way more than they would. So I've got like many a trip up my sleeve.

Ali: [Laughs]

Tina: What is your advice for women that have the dreams and want to back this up?

Ali: Definitely.

Tina: Whether you've got kids or not, I think going after your own personal dreams is a scary pursuit, you know?

Ali: Absolutely.

Tina: You know, it’s never guaranteed, but.

Ali: It’s never.

Tina: Kids is a whole other complexity because you're looking at them and you’re like, oh, I should be with them not there, like this whole should thing that you talked about?

Ali: Yes. Oh, get rid of the shoulds, but you know what? There’s really cool research that shows that mums today are actually with their kids 53% more than mums in the 60s and 70s which astounds me but we spend more time with them, but we're spending time rushing with them. We're on digital devices with them so the connection is different. So for me, I really focus on when I'm with them, I’m with them. Like now I've picked them up from school, we've had a half hour between school pick up and when I've jumped on here with you, and now they're filling their cup, because I'm letting them watch television, which they never get to do in the afternoons, but we also know we're going to finish this and we're going to go to club night at swimming, and mum's going to be focussed on helping them do that. So for me, now that my kids are older, it's definitely easier because we can shift between that concentrated together, quality time, and I then get to fill my cup. When I wasn't filling my own cup, like when I was ex-pac mumming, and I wasn't allowed to practice because I was in Korea, so I couldn't get a chiropractic licence, I had a three year old and a one year old. I did not know what to do with myself because my self was generated as the chiropractor Ali. So I couldn't do that.

Tina: I can relate.

Ali: Yeah, and I was like, oh, what's this mum life? So I threw myself into mum life but I  found that didn't suit me a huge amount either, and there was a lot of guilt around, okay, I do need to be a working mum, because I'm a better mum when I go out and do something that works for me. Yeah.

Tina: I would 100% agree with that.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: There were so many times. I mean, I have a lot of, my kids don't get me as much as what I imagine a lot of mums would, but they get what I think is more quality time than a lot of mums would give.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: A lot of my girlfriends that have stayed home as mums are like, oh my god, get me away, take me away from my kids.

Ali: [Laughs]

Tina: I like never have enough of them.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: So we'll lay together for half an hour every night and chat before bed and do that.

Ali: Yep.

Tina: You know, we have that closeness, because I miss them.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: I think it's actually not a bad thing that I get to miss them.

Ali: Yeah, exactly.

Tina: Right.

Ali: Yeah, and I love, I think that it is a really big disparity, though, also, that, working mums are often not given the opportunity, unless we are working for ourselves, to make your work environment suit you.

Tina: Hmm.

Ali: Like being able to find a job.

Tina: Oh yeah, for sure.

Ali: That gives you the flexibility to do that.

Tina: Yeah, that's really hard.

Ali: Like my Office Manager, she finishes for school pickup every day.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: I'm 100% there for that, because she, her daughter needs that, she needs that. Like, that's just life.

Tina: Yeah

Ali: But you know, it's taken a long time to get there, and.

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: I think you need to have support around you to make it happen too. Yeah, it's like that concentric circle of the five most important, the five people you spend the most time with are the ones that are going to influence your world the most. So, how can you make that look like you want it to look like and create that life that you want?

Tina: Yeah, for sure. Okay, I want to ask you about your big dream, and going, you've got your next online program launch about mid year.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: What is the big dream that you have for the direction? You know, you're a year into this now, you've had a few different iterations.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: I feel like now you're on your winner.

Ali: Yeah.

Tina: Like, I feel like you are born for what you're doing right now. Everything you've done to this point has been training for it, like, you're ready. What is your big dream?

Ali: My goal!

Tina: Yeah.

Ali: My big, hairy, audacious goal this year is to actually help 1,000 mums through my momma reset. I really think, I look at it like the ripple effect. Like, if I can get 1,000 mums in different communities, like, I've got people enrolled this year in Ireland, and in Vietnam in my course at the moment.

Tina: Amazing.

Ali: Which is just amazing. Yeah, and I think if we can just get one ripple effect of that mum showing up for herself first to then show up for her family, what that's going to do in that community, and especially with the world in the state of energetic stress it's in, if we can get some calm in that's just going to make such a difference. So this year, I want to see 1,000 mums, and I will be opening a new membership option for mums. I also really, really want to work with health practitioners who are mums who are trying to do the things and really got to burn out like I got to. Yeah, so yeah.

Tina: Amazing. Alright. I have one final question because we are launching Her Empire Builder in a couple of weeks, and you've been part of it since its inception.

Ali: The very beginning!

Tina: Yeah. What do you get out of being part of Her Empire Builder.

Ali: So much. I think the community, for me, is really one of the best things. The women that I have met within Her Empire Builder stretch me, support me, and we lean on each other in ways that I didn't really expect to and I think being a chiropractor, it's often a very insulated profession. Like, we work within our own kind. My best friends are all chiropractors. We all like hang out together, and being able to be expanded in that way to meet women who are so driven from so many different professions, is beautiful. Plus, all the amazing how-to guides so that I could actually do this.

Tina: [Laughs]

Ali: Because I had no other. [Laughs]

Tina: No other system and a template.

Ali: I know right. [Laughs] Having a procedures manual makes my life so much better, and being able to send to my beautiful help, Courtney, and go, um can you do this? And she goes, yeah, and I say, Tina’s got a video on it. Okay, great, and she’ll go watch it, then she’ll do it.

Tina: Gosh I love that.

Ali: It’s just amazing.

Tina: Yeah!

Ali: It’s so good.

Tina: I am so happy for you. I am so proud of you. I know sometimes, like I once read, you should never say to someone, I'm so proud of you because it can be condescending, but I am. I really like to see you have all these ideas and step into them and then see your book, like, right now behind you on the shelf.

Ali: I know!

Tina: It’s just, it's so bloody exciting.

Ali: It is.

Tina: And I'm so pumped for the ride that you are about to go on. So, I have read this book, Work.Mama.Life., it’s amazing.

Ali: Thank you.

Tina: Go and get it. You can pre order it right now and it will be out on 1st April in stores everywhere, and when you find it, take your photo with it and send it to Ali.

Ali: Yep.

Tina: Ali, what's your Instagram handle?

Ali: @dr.aliyoung

Tina: Perfect. Ali thank you and happy book launch.

Ali: Thank you. Yay.

Tina: [Laughs]

Tina: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Her Empire Builder. If you loved it, please share it on Instagram for your friends and be sure to tag me at @tina_tower so I can say thank you, and if you really want to deliver me smiles, you can pop a review on Apple podcasts. I would love to hear from you so if you have any questions at all, email me at [email protected], and if you would like to work with me further, all of the free resources and my courses can be found at www.tinatower.com. Now, I truly hope this podcast gives you so much value and you can use it to dream big, plan well and take massive action in building your very own empire that's just for you. Have the greatest day.