Ep150 When things go pear shaped 

Life is crazy, with it's ups and downs, twists and turns and everything in between. It's what makes it such a beautiful human experience.

When things in life go pear shaped, life just doesn't stop. We have responsibilities, not only to our families and our businesses, but also to ourselves - to heal, to learn and to move forward.

In today's episode, I'm sharing with you what the worst day of our lives was like and how we are moving forward together, and how I am working through it individually so that I can continue to show up and serve and not let this experience define us. I wanted to share how I am navigating through this so that it may help you with any trauma you have dealt with or are dealing with too.

In this episode, you will learn: 

  • How incredibly fortunate I feel to have a business that can still run without me there
  • Humans are amazing
  • Why you need to look after yourself now rather than when tragedy strikes 
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Show Transcription: 

Hi friends and welcome to episode 150 of Her Empire Builder Podcast. Today I'm talking about when things go pear shaped. If you follow along on socials, you will know this, but if you're just exclusively a podcast listener, I haven't mentioned it on the podcast at all. But you probably noticed there was a couple of weeks break there. So about five weeks ago, now, my son had an accident. And, you know, it was the, we had the worst day of our lives. And from that, I wanted to kind of share the lessons with you today, I'm going to tell the story of what happened. And what what we went through, because it's a good cautionary tale for everyone with children. But also more than that, I mean, this is a business podcast, let's be honest, it's not the let Tina tell you all her problems podcast. But why I wanted to do an episode on this instead of just, you know, pretending that it didn't happen or keeping it private, was because everybody has things like, I truly think that, you know, I'm sure you have had a trauma, everybody I know has been through something, and has something that they have to deal with in order to show up the best that they can. And, you know, life is crazy with its ups and downs and twists and turns. And it's it's both beautiful, and wonderful and awful, and everything in between. And that's what makes it such a beautiful human experience. But when things do go pear shaped, you know, life doesn't stop. And often we have our responsibilities and things to keep going and, and that's kind of what I had to navigate. And I wanted to share that with you because I think that, you know, it'd be nice for you to see how I navigated that so that when things go pear shaped for you. If they ever do, I hope they don't. But you know, the odds are as humans, we're gonna have to deal with things, whether they're on the scale of what happened with my little one or, or whether, you know, it's even worse than that, or whether you know, it's just normal things. It's always nice to go. Alright, here's when things go pear shaped, here's what I can do to get back on track in a quick, healthy way, because you know, I'm not an advocate of just, you know, smile and nod politely and just push everything down. I think that is very dangerous. But at the same time, I have no interest in living my life with a with a full on pity party, or taking longer than I need to to recover from something. And so I'm going to share with you that in today's episode. 


Hello, I'm Tina Tower, and you're listening to her Empire Builder. For my first decade of business, I thought grinding and hustling and working harder than everyone else was my path to success. It was pretty successful by a lot of measures, but it led to burnout and adrenal fatigue. Then when I travelled around the world, on my family gap year, I discovered the simplicity and the reach of online business. And I completely fell in love. You have so much knowledge and expertise that's within and I want to help you to package that. So you can also help to lift others up. So how do you build a thriving million dollar business based on everything that's in your mind? This is Her Empire Builder, the podcast. 


So mid October 2021 was the worst day of my life so far. It was just like every parent's worst nightmare. I'll go through what happened so that so that you can have some context to it quickly before I go on with how we've all all recovered from it. So what happened was Cohen my 12 year old was told about a YouTube video apparently it's on TikTok as well of making flame throwers in the backyard. And they decided to replicate that and had spray paint cans and matches. And one of the spray paint cans exploded on them. So it exploded. They had the paint that was on fire hit all over their bodies and caught fire. And so my poor older son Kai saw his brother on fire and had to run and stop and drop and roll. So it's pretty horrific and you know the thought of your child being on fire is horrifying.


Everything happened very, very quickly. After that, we were asked to say lucky. And we were lucky, because it could have been so much worse. But also like the week that it happened, so many people were messaging me going, Gosh, you're so lucky, it wasn't working. And I swear to God, if someone else had told me, I was lucky, I wanted to punch them.


Because you don't feel lucky, when when your kid is sitting there burnt from doing backyard things that, you know, he did a stupid, stupid thing. And I was so mad when he did it. And this is the hard part was feeling so many different emotions all at the same time, because we thought he knew better. You know, our kids have been raised really, like independently, and we haven't sheltered them from things and they're very familiar with fire and with dangerous things and having to be careful, we'd live on a farm. And so we burn all of our recycling and always go through the boxes and make sure there's nothing in there that's going to explode and all that sort of thing. So then we thought they knew better. So you know, there's the big disappointment as a as a parent to deal with that too. But, but at the time, obviously, I wasn't thinking about any any of that. And so it happened, our poor neighbour who our kids were up the property that we have. And so it was right next to his fence. And he was, he's from South Africa and has been in Australia for the last five years. And he, because of being from South Africa, heard the explosion and thought it was gunshots and then came over the fence, like rebounded over the fence and just saw the kids covered in red and thought it was blood. So the poor guy, oh my gosh. So he went into like full action stations. And this is the thing like we had people appear from everywhere. So quickly, and humans are good. So we had our other neighbours jump over and put out the fire and, you know, Cohen, he was burnt. So it was him and his mate and he was burnt a lot worse initially. And it was all over his face and his one arm two legs. And you know, we found out later in the hospital that he was insanely lucky. Because when explosions happen and when fire is coming at you most people's initial response is to go and take that big gasp in and so one of the reasons he was was treated with with so much like emergent nature. It was because they were worried about his internal breathing and like swallowing all of the the fumes in the fire and that his airways would close up. And so he didn't though. When we got to the hospital, they kept giving him chest X-rays and they kept putting the scopes down his nose and down his throat and they just was like, You know what is going on here? Like why is there no damage there. And it turned out that because he's a he's a surfer they said is your son a surfer and their initial like response because they're so used to getting dunked under waves and used to coming up and you know, not being able to take a breath. Their fear response is to shut all of their orifices. So like his eyes, his mouth, everything just instead of breathing in, he went and shut everything. So like he had all the burn marks all around his eyes from holding them shut so tight, and not a thing inside his mouth. So it was just, you know, remarkable. And that was bloody lucky. But yeah, so when it happened, I put them, you know, into the shower, and we had the paramedics arrived within about 10 minutes. And then about 10 minutes later we had about 12 Paramedics are running through our house. And we had six police officers, four uniformed police and two detectives and I'm going like what is going on? Like I knew the kids would be in trouble with us. I didn't know they'd be in trouble for the authorities. And it turned out later that whenever there's an explosion they have to like investigate that we're not running a backyard meth lab. This like I couldn't figure out why. You know the detectives were taking Kai my older son away and questioning him and I'm just going What on earth is this world like it was just the most surreal thing. Cohen had all the burns around his face they they took it took it very seriously there we live on the central coast so about an hour and a half to two hours north of Sydney. And so, you know, 20 minutes after the accident, the helicopter came and they were usually they land to the helicopters in the local school. But because it was a Saturday afternoon or the school gates were shot, and so they landed it in our backyard. And it was just, it was the most surreal thing was sitting there going,

what the fuck. A helicopter was just coming to land in the backyard. And then I couldn't fit in the helicopter with them because they they had picked up a special burns doctor on the way in case in case he stopped breathing, and could could sort all of that out, like while they were on the flight on the way down there. And so they took Cohen straight to hospital in the helicopter. And then I got to jump in the ambulance with his mate and his mates dad, and go down there then and then we went down. So I arrived about 45 minutes after Cohen had had got there. And he was all ready to go into into surgery. He ended up going in at about half past eight that night. And the hospital was like an absolute ghost town there was there was nobody there in the paediatrics they only had one one theatre operating on the Saturday night in that part and so they shut everything and put me in the waiting room and said you know if you want any updates hit the hit the buzzer, but it's gonna take about about three hours. So you can just just kind of wait and so I was sitting in the in the waiting room and it got to about 1030. So about two hours later, and I rang the buzzer to try and get an update. Nobody answered. And so then it got to 1130 rang the buzzer. Nobody answered. So then like I start, like going like a crazy person, right? What's wrong with my kid? Anyway, they didn't come out until quarter past one and he'd had a bad reaction to the general anaesthetic and wasn't wasn't doing too well in there. So they wouldn't let me in to see him yet. And so I got in at about half past two to see him and look, in all honesty. I I knew, you know, I've never been around burns before, so I didn't know that they develop. And when I saw him, I knew he was hurt. And, you know, I knew it wasn't wasn't good, but I did not comprehend the extent and how much worse it would get. And the the trauma nurse was kind of laughing at me because I took one pair of undies and one change of clothes because I thought you know, we're going down late on a Saturday, we won't get out of hospital today, but we'll be heading home tomorrow. And she's like, Honey, like, the helicopter didn't give it away. Really, anyway, my optimism bias Nah, we'll be fine. Anyway, I got the shock of my life when I walked in to see him he was basically top to toe in, in bandages, and just he was not looking good. So he he had burns like to 22% of his body so not like catastrophic. But he had 22% of his body with burns with a mixture of second degree and third degree burns. But that night was hairy. Like shit got real and we got put into like the ICU resuss sort of centre, a part of the of the burns ward when we when we came out of surgery and his heart rate dropped a couple of times below 30 And all the alarms go off and the doctors all run in and ready to resuscitate him. And it was just I've just never felt anything like it. I've Yeah, I just the helplessness was, I just never have felt anything like it. So we got got through that. And then you know, like had to spend the following days in that and it was just you know, the next day, he looked even worse, and they said like it's 72 hours that will get it'll get really bad it'll get much much worse and then it'll start getting better pretty quickly. So yeah, that's exactly what happened, it did keep getting keep getting worse until it started getting getting a lot better. And it was just Yeah, I don't know what more I can say about that except, there’s a lot of things that I learned from it. And you know, I, you know, sometimes accidents do happen. You know, we had a lot of chats together and going he made a really bad decision, but he's not a bad kid. And he felt so bad when he woke up and came to and going, like, he just felt so, so guilty and so remorseful and just everything there.


But yes, strangers are wonderful. I mean, the amount of help that we had from so many different people and, you know, humans are so generous, the amount of messages and, and love and support that we got, and I didn't put it on social media for about, like, a couple days, because I needed to make sure that he was he was all right, before I started sharing that, but I wanted to because I wanted it to be a cautionary tale for other teenagers as well, because there's, you know, there's so happens so easily. And Careflight like, Careflight is the helicopter company that that took us down, which is a completely donation based organisation, like and you just, you never think you're going to need them until you do. But yeah, hospital is long and boring. 


I mean, hilariously I took one change of clothes. And but I also talked to books, my notebook, my iPad, my laptop, because I was like, you know, while I'm waiting a while he's doing his thing. I'll get some work done. My brain was just like, going fried. Done. So yeah, it was it being in the hospital environment was traumatic there. There are so many people that are having their worst day, every single day. And, you know, for me, I held it together pretty well, until I think on day two, day three, so happened on the Saturday and I think about the Tuesday I had a social worker come in, so many people come in the physios, the dieticians, the social worker, like so many people. And she came in and started giving me pamphlets for next year with camps for burn survivors. And talking about how she's got some materials she can send to the school about how he can assimilate and how other kids can deal with him as a burn survivor. And to me up until that point, I hadn't really I don't know, it hadn't hadn't really goes like no, this is this, no, this is not my life. 


I am so careful about how I construct my life and everything is very intentional, and very on purpose. My kids not a bad spammer. I'm having no part of it. That kind of it started ringing true for me with that. And then on day, day two, day three was when he got moved out of the like, emergency room into like the the maintenance kind of room. And so it's this big room with six kids in the room, and their parents, so like 12 people living together in this one big room, which is just like, What the fuck like it is just, because it was the kids Burn Unit. There's babies there. So and people are having so much trauma and like there was, you know, next to us was a three month old baby across the way was the 18 month old baby that tripped and fell into the family fire pit which, you know, makes you think. How could you let that happen? And at the same time, it happens in like two seconds flat. And so there's all these people there that are all just you know, having such an intense human experience. And so it was just like the energy of the like the trauma and the heaviness and the the beeping and everything anyway, we got transported into that room and I had not cried yet. When we when we got there I was just you know you in those things and you're just like holding your shit together. And we got into that room and a baby was screaming, like a blood curdling scream. It was burnt like it's hard enough having kids that you can explain what's happening to but having like a baby that doesn't understand what you're saying in so much pain like that. I can't even imagine how hard that was for the baby and for the parents. But Going into there and knowing like they had prepared us that we would be in hospital for a month or so. 


So we walked into there and I'm just like, Is this my life right now? Like, this is just and the baby is screaming and then Cohen started crying going, I can't cope with this, like, get me out of here. Cohen’s a real introverted kid too. And like all of the the lights and the beeping and the screaming and all that was just, it was just too much. And oh my god, I lost it. I lost it. I just Yeah, totally lost it. So I'm standing in the middle of the room just like heave crying. I apologised after I'll tell you that. Because I'm going like, give us give us a different room. Like, I'm not saying he those three babies and like, I can't cope. I can't do this. I know, everyone's got their thing going on. But you're my kid has to heal. I have to help. I cannot do this. I can't do it. I can't do it. Get me out. Anyway, she did inform me that we were in a public hospital. And everybody's needs are important. And I need to shut up. So, you know, we went over there. And it just, it was an experience. I slept on the chair next to him and you take a deep breath in, and the big guys were like creeks and it was just as fucking horrible. But we we got to go home really quick. So after seven days, we got to go home, which was great. He was still not good. He had to be able to walk to the bathroom and back to be able to be discharged, which was really painful and quite the feat for him. But, but he did it because he knew that he wanted to go home. And, you know, it's just it's like a parallel world. Like even the day before we came home he was he was able to get into the wheelchair so I could walk him around the hospital and he could get out of that room. And you were walking past the paediatric oncology Ward, where all the kids are going through their cancer treatments and blood disease in the hospital school with all the kids in there. And just like there's just so many people having such a bad time. And often, I know I don't really think I like I don't I live in such a beautiful bubble where we're very rarely does things go wrong. And it was it was it was a lot. There was a lot. And it really made us realise how lucky we are as well.


He recovered really, really quickly once we got home. So we had everything set up here. And you know, you can it's the same reason when I gave birth and you know, with Cohen I gave birth to him at three o'clock in the morning, and we left at nine o'clock. Because I just wanted to get out of that hospital environment. And someone sent me a message and said, Yes, hospitals no place for sick people. And I was like, you know hospital is amazing for saving your life. And we, we we need that but but once you're on on the road to recovery, my gosh, you want to get out of there. So yeah, we got to come home and do all the therapy and just drive back and forth to the hospital for bandage changes. So now five weeks later, we are on once a week, and he's doing really well. 


But my point of I meant to do that in five minutes, and it's taken me 20. But my point of why I wanted to do this episode was was not so much to tell you the story, but to go it through me. And I was not okay. I hadn't been not okay for a really, really long time. I have a job to do. And so it was really hard to go. Alright, like, I know I need to be in this. I know, I need to not bury this. Or you know, it's just going to come back and bite us in the ass later. So I know I need to go through it and I need to process it all and do all that but at the same time. You know, you've got responsibilities. You can't just pause life. And I know this has happened. I've had a couple of friends whose partners have died and different things that they you know, one day your life is chugging along to plan and then the next day, everything is different. And we have to find that new normal and new way of doing it and you know, I've got amazing clients. And so many people have children and understood and when, you know, take all the time you need, you don't have to show up, you don't have to do the different things, which is lovely. But I also know, I'm running a business. And people are paying me to deliver them, my product, my service, and not my problems. And so as lovely and kind as humans are, people are not going to continue to pay me for me not to deliver on that exceptionally. And I'm acutely aware of that. And, and also, I don't want people to pay me and may not deliver that. And so I had to really figure out how I was going to get through that and show up in the best possible way. Because it's not, it's not easy. I mean, even like the week before last I had a Masterclass on and, you know, I have gone live for my members every week, pretty much for four years. Like a lot. Like it's something I'm very, very used to very, very comfortable with. And I had a massive panic attack before it like just could barely breathe and hyperventilating and just felt like I was gonna throw up. And that had been happening to me a lot. When we, when we came home, I couldn't, I couldn't sleep, even though I was so tired. I just kept waking up thinking that, you know, Cohen was going to die and that I had to run in and check on him. And I was just in a panic, I was just so sad about what had happened to him. And he's beautiful face and he's beautiful skin and that he was so hurt and but at the same time, I was getting really frustrated with myself because I was going you know what? We're okay. Like, he is okay, now he's recovering, he's fine. My head knew logically like, like we're on the mend. Now we've just got to go through the motions and work out how to make the best of the situation that we found ourselves in. But my body was like, no, we're not okay. And that was really frustrating for me, because I'm a very resilient person I bounce back from, from tough things very, very well. I call it like, bounce forward, like I I can have a lot of things happen. And I can cope. My resilience muscle is strong, I've put myself out there a lot. My whole life. And so I'm really good at being able to manage difficult conversations and difficult situations and, you know, be able to, like coach myself through things, and I'm very self aware. And I've done a lot of self development, personal development, and all of that sort of stuff. But nothing's ever happened to my kid before. 


And what I have discovered, is I can deal with anything in life, except something happening to my kids. And that has been I mean, of course, it's logical, but to experience it, you know, from a chemical point of view, it has been has been interesting. Like, if I look at it from a curious kind of point of view, it's been interesting to go okay, so pretty much everything that you know, right now. Yeah, that's, that's not gonna work, you're gonna have to find a new way. And I felt very discombobulated for a couple of weeks after we got home. And, you know, discombobulated is like one of my favourite words, you look up the definition, it encompasses so much. It's such a beautiful word. And I had some girlfriends just message me and say, just grab some valium or something like just go to the doctor, grab some valium, like just like your nervous system calm down. But I have a very addictive personality. And I come from a family of addicts. And so I didn't want to do that. Because I've had diazepam once before. And it was fabulous. And I knew that if I started popping that I probably wouldn't stop. And so I didn't want to you know, do that. I know that it works great for some people. But if you if you have a tendency for addiction, I think it's a slippery slope. And so I had to go Alright, I'm gonna do all the things that I have to do. So part of it was being very, very patient with myself. I stripped everything for the business for the rest of the year. That wasn't that was like growth orientated. So everything that I had committed to and everything that I that I was doing, definitely 100% doing that, but anything that I didn't really have to do or that was business development or things that I was like, you know, would be good to add on. But no one would know if they went there. Like any new things, any any new stuff that we were doing any interviews for next year, all of the new videos, all of that sort of stuff just canned, like just it no longer matters. So I stripped everything right back so that I could have some time to just regulate. Because resilience means nothing when you when your kids are hurt, or when you go through these big, big life traumas. You've got to got to figure out how you can get back on track so that you can show up how you want to, and I know, maybe for some people, they want to want to take some time off, I don't know. But, but for me, I'm going like I run a membership. So people get me every week. And unless I've planned it in advance, like I take January off January has planned in advance, like we all know that that's what we've signed up to that's in the membership, inclusions, all of that sort of thing. But you can't just disappear, you've got the responsibility to show up and not only just to show up and go through the motions, but to like over deliver to knock the socks off to do a really exceptional job. So everything that I did was really one to take care of Cohen, and my husband and my other son and make sure they were okay. And then to make sure that I was alright to show up and keep my company running and keep everything going really well. And so I did all the things. We talked about all the things before I've done all the things and I am not done. I will continue doing all the things and have to continue doing all the things I imagine for a long time because I am I am okay, now. But I'm still getting waves. So I'll still have some days where I'm just in a funk, or days where I just have zero energy. And, you know, my brain is taking longer to process a lot of things. So I've gone to kinesiology, kinesiology has been amazing. I don't know how woo you are. But one of the big things was my, my head was disconnected from my body in terms of aura. And you know, because logically, I'm going alright, I know what I need to do. Like, I just need to do this, this and this and this, like we can process this, like I can make a system out of it. Should I make a checklist? Should I colour code, that checklist, let's do the thing. My head was like, we're fine, we're fine. And my body was like, liar. And so I really had to get that back together. So the Kinesiologist has been working absolute wonders. And it's like magic. If you've never been to kinesiology before, I implore you to try and open your mind to do it. I don't entirely know how it works. It's magic. And I can't believe how much better it feels in terms of because every time I thought about Cohen or the accident, I would go into a bit of a bit of a panic. And you know, so we had to get my nervous system to be okay with that and to be able to, you know, be able to think about it and process it without kind of getting that anxiety like pumping through through my body. So the Kinesiologist just has been great psychologist, I couldn't actually see a psychologist in person, everyone was fall until like January. So I've been talking to someone over zoom, which has been really, really good. Flower essences, which I have never heard of or used before. And one of my beautiful business groups that I'm a part of sent me the most gorgeous box with all of these different things in there. And some of it was flower essences. And then the next day I went to the Kinesiologist and she's like, Okay, well, you're going to have to start taking this flower essence. And I never, you know, you never hear of things and then they just pop up here, here, here, here here. So I'd seen them everywhere and then so started taking that now look, I don't know if it works on like I use bark flower was the only one I'd previously used. I have like this bark flower drops that I use before I present. It's always been part of my like speaking ritual and you drop it onto your tongue now I have no idea what it does to your body, whether it works or not, or whether it's a placebo effect, I really don't care. Because even if it helps mentally, it helps it's worth it. And our mind body connection is so strong. And that has really hit home for me in going through this for the for the last month and a bit. How much our mind and our emotions affect our body and vice versa as well. So, you know, I did that I spent some time with great friends, I really spent a lot of time you know, and one of my beautiful girlfriends the day after we, the day after we got home and I was so mad, like so angry, just so angry. I smashed a coffee cup by myself, I'd come over to the office and was was kind of standing here and was just just crying uncontrollably. I think I hadn't got to really let it out at the hospital like obviously had my my one break down there but hadn't really got to have a full meltdown because they'd upset Cohen and I had to keep him okay and and after I came home and you know really got to like I just sat in the shower and cried and then came over to the office so I could have some some time by myself and try and process everything and just come out and like threw the coffee cup against the wall. Which is so not me. I am I am not the throwy coffee cup type. But I just felt so out of control. So I called called one of my best friends and I was like, What the fuck? I've had a lot of beautiful friends talk to me it took me off ledges and told me round and send me jokes and and get me through things and you know, it's humans are a gift. So I've spent a lot of time time with people and and then the the remedies to like nearly every natural remedy I've done I've got massages once or twice a week, float tank if you have not been in a float tank. Look up to see if there is one year it is complete sensory deprivation. So you're in magnesium water, like in no light, no noise, no nothing. And it's a really, really beautiful way to come back to yourself and think about what you really want and how you want to live and how you want to, process everything. So I've done that look, I have drunk a lot of gin. I don't want to say I'm taking all healthy options because you know, I've drank some gin which has been good also, sauna, the kinesiologist has got me in the sauna to help sweat things out. And just the visualisation of that as well as the physical benefit benefits has been really good straight after this podcast episode actually, I'm going to jump in the sauna. Taking time to rest like usually I've talked about this before on the podcast, but I find it hard to have downtime. I always you know, have to fight the feeling of guilt that I'm lazy or I should be doing more with my time and things like that. I have let that go completely. So I've been watching more Netflix than usual. Or Apple TV or Stan all of them. But you know like I could sit in bed in the afternoon and just watch TV for four or five hours and I am not giving myself any grief about that at all because it’s you know, and I've been watching really corny shows like happy corny shows. So I've just been hanging a lot just hanging a lot with a fam lots and lots of cuddles like we've gone back to just laying in bed and just having cuddles for an hour and just chatting. Seen the naturopath I've got all the vitamins, all the minerals, taking all the things doing a lot of yoga and stretching with the peloton. So I've got a peloton bike, which I haven't really, you know, felt like riding. But it's got so many other classes on there for yoga and stretching. So we've been doing them all together as well. It's all it's all being okay. 


But I wanted to share that because it doesn't happen on its own either us getting better and us, you know, when big things happen, and when everything goes pear shaped. I know people that have held on to that trauma for forever. I know some people deal with things way worse than what we've what we've dealt with. I mean, Cohen is still now all bandaged up but he, you know, he'll have bandages for the next six months. And he should be able to go into the water in about three weeks or so. So he's doing he's recovering so well. I don't have like the scoop on bad things. But I also don't want to hang on to this. I don't want it to define him, I don't want it to define us. And I don't want it to affect all of the amazing things that I want to do in the world as well. Because I do love, I love my work. I love what I do, I really believe in, you know how important it is to help women run incredible businesses, and they say things like this really put everything into perspective for you. And already, you know, you know, from a few episodes ago, if you feel listened to, like my change of plans for 2022, I was already planning on, you know, shifting quite a lot so that, you know, if it's not fun, I'm not doing it. And I'm travelling a lot more, spending a lot more time with the family and really not going into that overwork that I really fell into this year. And this is just really, like solidified that for me to go, I'm on that right track, I really want to keep that freedom and that flexibility. And live that and not get in the habit of that overwork. But in saying that, I have every intention of doing really big things. And, and you can do both of them at the same time. So yeah, so if you're going through something big right now, or if you have, you're still in it, I'm sending you lots of love. But try and like take some of those things and go, Okay, what's gonna work for you. And for me, I didn't know what would work. So I just did everything. And will continue to take some time continue to be a bit easier on myself as well. So that I can show up really well when I'm required to and then rest in those other stages, to let my body and my mind to get back to its normal, beautiful self. 


Because my goal is like to not wait until crisis hits before I take the time to look after myself. Because it's kind of like I don't look after myself all that well. Like I will overwork physically. Sometimes until you know I've got a headache or I'm really tired and exhausted. And I think that one of the reasons why this hit me so hard was my well was runneth dry already. And so I had no reserves kind of thing when when this all happened. And so I'm really conscious of that. And I want you to be really conscious of that too is going let's not wait until crisis hits before we take the time to look after ourselves. Let's feel our wells. Like let's do all those things that I did to repair after things went pear shaped, the kinesiology, the massage, the float tank, the sauna, the time to rest, the taking of our vitamins and minerals, yoga, stretching, like all of the things that we know really helped us. Let's do them all the time. Anyway, I hope that was helpful for you. If you were one of the many people that sent me messages while I was in hospital, thank you. I know I didn't respond to everybody. But I couldn't do much in the hospital. And it just meant that every time I could look down at my phone, that I did feel so much love and support. And it's where this whole social media world just is really beautiful. So thank you if you were one of those people and have a beautiful day. 


Thank you for listening to this episode of Her Empire Builder. If you loved it, please share it on Instagram and Facebook be your friends. And if you really want to deliver me smile, you can pop a review on iTunes. I'd love to hear from you. So if you have any questions, email me at [email protected] And if you want to know more about what we do, head over to tinatower.com.  Now I truly hope this podcast gives you so much value and you can use it to dream big, plan well and take massive action in building your very own empire. That's perfect. Just for you.




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